At the beginning of every hero’s journey, there goes a fool. A soul that embarks into the great unknown with only a small backpack of supplies to sustain them. They look upwards, towards the light, not paying attention to where they are going. At this point it doesn’t really matter, they just need to go. The momentum forward has propelled them to the top of a cliff and a small dog nips at their heel, as if to tell them to stop. But it is of no use. The fool is on their way and there’s no looking back now. What happens next is uncertain. Will they fall? And if so, where will they land? Will it be a tragedy or a miracle? No one knows.
10 months ago, I was on my way to a new life across the country. I had a destination in mind, but no job. I had an apartment staked out, but no lease. I had a mover come by for a quote, but no definite moving date. I was planning a leap of faith. Just like the fool. But something in my gut was churning. It just didn’t seem right, and I didn’t know why.
A few weeks later, I was at the doctor’s office when they found something suspicious. I had a growth, and it didn’t look good. They did a biopsy and confirmed that it was cancer. They immediately sent me to an oncologist and began making plans for my treatment. It was all very surreal, like it was happening to someone else, and I was just observing.
Doctors, nurses & scans, oh my!
Needless to say, my move got postponed indefinitely. For the next eight months, my job was to follow orders. First, I underwent surgery. The growth was removed along with some nearby lymph nodes, just in case. They did a biopsy. It came back positive. I was now diagnosed with Stage Three Cancer. More doctors were consulted. They suggested I do chemo and radiation. I didn’t really know what that meant, but I agreed. Christmas came and went, and right after New Year’s I started treatment. At first it wasn’t so bad, and I thought it was no big deal. Four weeks later, I was anemic, exhausted, and partially covered in third degree burns. I ended radiation a day early. And then I waited.
Flash forward seven weeks and I was pretty much having a panic attack in my oncologist’s office. With treatment over and done with, the only thing left to do was wait for the results of body scans looking for signs of malignancy. The test had been done the day before and the results weren’t in yet. So I sat there, alone in his office, waiting to hear the verdict. According to my Fitbit, my pulse rate had skyrocketed to 160. After 15 minutes, he came in to tell me that he hadn’t heard yet and he would My Chart me later. This was torture.
Five hours after that, my email pinged. It was Doctor V. and he had my test results. My heart pounded as I logged into the site. Would it be good news, or had it spread? And if it had spread was there anything they could do? Did I want them to do anything? I did not know.
I navigated to the message and opened it up. It was good news. There was no sign of malignancy, and I was officially in remission. The doctor suggested I keep my chemo port in and come in for check-ups every three months for the next year. I was not out-of-the woods, but it looked promising. I spent the next month continuing to recover from treatment. I was in remission, but still exhausted and weak. But I was slowly getting better.
The healing path
Flash forward two weeks. It was now April 8, 2024, and I was lying in bed watching the solar eclipse in Aries. My sister had told me to prepare for it by cleaning out my house and letting go of everything I wanted to get rid of. In addition to three trash bags full of old clothes, a rice-cooker and some purses, I dumped a large Ziploc bag full of leftover drugs (for naseau, anxiety and pain) at a pill return drop box at my local Bartell’s. And it felt good. Now all I had to do was figure out what the heck I was going to do with the rest of my life. Which brings me to the point.
Mystical Mingle is a blog celebrating life and connecting back to spirit. It’s part the personal journey of a fool that has decided to jump off a cliff and become a professional astrologer after decades of dabbling in the craft, and it is part cocktail party where all the readers are welcomed guests encouraged to stop, look and engage. On the menu is a creative mélange of all things mystical, from Monday Musings to Foodie Fridays all with a spiritual spin. And now that I’ve gotten all that off my chest, I’d like to give the first toast, “To living. May it be everything you intended and dreamed of.” And with that, I thank you all for stopping by.
